What's Happening

The first of many to come, I'm sure. I don't know what to do a lot of times when this life brings me to a potential crossroads, a decision to be made, a problem to be solved. I end up doing one of two things, unfortunately the latter of the two most commonly results in being the case. I think about the problem, continue to think some more, and then use rational decision-making skills to come to a conclusive decision ... or ... overanalyze, overthink, overrationalize the problem, come up with some far out decision that, at the time, seems ingenious, screw myself over, blunder through the consequences and move on to the next decision that life brings my direction.
I should probably go ahead before I get in too deep mention that I am actually a fairly positive and enthusiastic natured person who believes that within most other people (aside from the possessed) have a good soul and do honestly have some good within. This often is misconstrued as naivete.
Moving right along, I don't know what to do. I think about this one topic. It's always there. It's most likely always been there and someone just turned on the light switch for it to present itself in the last year or so. Some say its perversion, others say its human nature, others just look at you funny and ask what you've been smoking (AKA they don't give a care).
I shall conclude this introduction with a breif about my girlfriend. The great person alive away from my family (NOTE: some friends are considered family, including my girlfriend). I love her. She has been through so much with me. She has "let so much go." I don't see how she wants to be with me, but she has stuck through thick and thin with me and I am so grateful.
I guess you could say that this is where another source of all of this comes from. I, in absolutely no way, am saying that I don't want her to be part of my life any longer. I just want to be able to respect her more. I want to be able to "restrain" myself better and just be able to love her personality more than it seems that I am loving her physically. If you get what I mean. I don't want to turn this page into a testimony of perversion, but merely to post thoughts in the slim chance that someone might post some kind of advice that I otherwise would not be able to pick up anywhere else online or another source. Thanks.